This evidence was released today. It appears to be an entry from Airen's "Diary #3", dated July 2000. The following is a portion of that entry:
Thursday, July 27, 2000
"Dear Diary #3:
"I’m depressed. I need to talk to someone, but I know [that] no one else would want to listen. So I came to you.
"I just finished watching 'Popular.' While it would have been quite amusing to anyone else, it was rather painful [sic] for me, because it immediately reminded me of my own unpopularity and the 12 years of ridicule I went through simply because I was there. I watched all the light-skinned and/or long-haired and/or skinny and/or slutty chicks around me get all the attention and all the luck, while all I got was laughed at, talked about, and condescended to....
"Why does society hate me so much? All I want is to fit in, but I’m not sure that I can even try anymore. Mom says I should just be myself; and I’ve tried that, but all it got me was 12 years of ridicule and insults. And so I’m left with no choice but to act like everyone else.
"Sometimes, I think to myself, maybe if I was skinny...or a cheerleader...or...drop-dead gorgeous...I would be noticed...I don’t think any man wants me now....
"I’m thinking, maybe [sic] if I wasn’t Airen...things would be better for me, and people would like me.
"Erik...said my life was pathetic. Maybe he’s right; perhaps my life is pathetic, and I’m just sitting here, sucking up air that could have been breathed by someone more worthy...."
Airen had originally posted this on LiveJournal in 2006, keeping all names anonymous. She had also discussed this offline with a few other people.
I feel that this is an effective lead in my search for Airen because I can delve into her past and get a sense of how she was then and how much she's really changed. I hear that she's nowhere near the way she was a decade ago, or even four years ago when she rediscovered this diary entry. It appears that she's matured since then, but still has much to work with.
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